Old. It’s relative, right? You’re only as old as you feel? Or at least in relation to whom (or when in your own life) you are comparing yourself to. I turned 26 today. And I feel old. Now, don’t poo poo me and how I feel, but hear me out. I feel old, and rightly so, because I am only thinking of 26 in relation to all that I have previously experienced. Will you argue me that I am not older than 8, 13, 17, 21, 24, 25? Well, yes at 26-years-old, in relation to 25, I am "old" (or at least older).
Old is relative.
The things that I am doing and wish to be doing at 26 make me feel “old” - especially in comparison to the things I wanted to do and the life I lived at 21 – or even 24. Crazy big life changes have happened each year thus far in my twenties. Major, major growth - and each growth spurt makes me a feel a bit “older”.
Twenties: when the real act of “finding oneself” seems to be happening. When you are finally relinquished from the track of schooling that you were groomed to follow. When you no longer go from being a third grader to fourth grader or junior to senior. When you are able to forge your own way, with your own path, on your own terms.
Looking back on a piece I wrote when I turned 25:
“I’m in this weird part of my life. It is like I am struggling between staying young and free, wild and careless and growing up and being responsible and carefully planning my next life moves.
It’s like the harder I try to grow up and make an effort to move forward the more I end up getting weird and crazy – partying, dancing and staying up until dawn.
25 is a weird age. A teetering age. A defining age. What is most important to me? Is it possible to have balance? Can you work towards owning a home, having a family, a high-powered career, and still party like it’s 1999?
It’s almost like my efforts toward both growing up and staying young are just neutralizing each other. I am dancing until 4AM and going without sleep – and then using anti-aging face creams, carefully choosing my 401K and making a 5, 10, 15 year plan.
Is there a right way to grow up? Is there timing or a timeline that is “right”?
25 is a weird age. A teetering age. A defining age. Do I want to grow up or stay young? Or will I prove that one can do both?”
As it turned out, I grew A LOT in my 25th year. I discovered more of who I was, what my goals were, what (and who) were important to me – and began to put those things into play. I grew my mind. I grew my heart. I grew my friendships, my health, my happiness, my ambition and my passport pages. (Snapshot: I traveled to three new countries, celebrated ten years of dating with the love of my life, religiously started practicing hot vinyassa yoga, started this power bitch site – oh and my family moved back across the country).
Turning a new age is so symbolic. A new year. A new start. A new chapter in your journey. 26 may feel “old” – but I do understand that 25 years was only a short blip in the overall ride --- and I can’t wait to see where the road will take me this year.
I dedicated my 25th year to conquering fear. At 26, I aim to master the art of being perfectly present. A year goes quickly and I must learn to slow down, enjoy and savor each and every moment I am given to enjoy on this earth.
Here’s to a fierce, fabulous year filled with health, wealth, accomplishment, happiness, love, family and great friends.
To the moon – xo